Wanted Kids

     I called my mother in law on the way home from work last evening to see if she wanted me to pick the kids up from soccer. I woke her up. She was sitting in her car. She had been with my kids for an entire day, as a result of a midweek in service day, and she was exhausted. It seems as though they woke her up at 6:45 in the morning, wanted breakfast, played outside, made a fort inside, and generally made an absolute mess of her house. I think there was also a dead bird and subsequent funeral involved. Either way, I had to work late as did my husband and she took them to soccer. While on the phone chatting with her I was a little disgusted that my kids, who I think are pretty smart, couldn't even help Grandma clean up. I mean, my kids are almost 10 and the youngest is seven and a half. Why aren't they more responsible?

     This was on my mind when I came into the house and so I started discussing it with my husband. Over a beer. And we quickly came to the realization of what we already knew. The kids are spoiled. I would venture a guess that a lot of kids are spoiled. However, it's not exactly what I had envisioned for my life. As we were talking we decided to sit them down and talk about expectation, chores, respect. A lot of heavy stuff for a Wednesday, but we were fed up! We were taking charge! See, the long day wasn't an anomaly, this happened to everyone who watched our children, us included. They are exhausting. See my other posts, I've made references to the chaos that is any task at my house. 

    Not that this makes any difference at all at this point, but these kids were wanted. I am talking several surgeries, IVF rounds, mortgages wanted. Sometimes I think that hurt them and it's not their fault that they are "spoiled". We spoiled them from conception! And this has come to bite us. Now as I want them to morph into respectful young adults they tend to be more worried about whether or not their Kindle is charged. We decided we'd have a family meeting to discuss the situation and lay out some of our expectations.

     This reminded me of the "life talks" my dad used to give us. I don't remember many of them being on a group level, but that may be because we were spread apart in age and I had a brother. Unlike my three who all seem to be operating as one. But I do remember having to force myself to focus, not because the material was boring or not suited for me, but because as kid who was told to listen, it was like I just. could. not. 

     So last night there sat my three wanted children. We went over respect, we reviewed cleaning up after themselves and a few other points of contention. And I felt like I was traveling back in time as my husband talked and my kids settled in to listen with that glazed look in their eyes. They nodded, answered questions completely and correctly but I'm not really sure anyone heard anything or could tell me today what it was about. Sometimes at the end of the day I just want to kiss my kids goodnight, tell them I love them and ask them to please act like normal respectful human beings. Is it really that hard?