The Finer Things

     When I was 25 the finer things were usually "things" out of my reach. Leather shoes, fancy clothes and real diamonds come to mind. I remember my apartment in college, my roommates and I were searching for the finer things. We decided painting the wood paneled walls white and drinking Absolute Vodka were the finer things. Later, the finer things included becoming a flight attendant. Now, in the late 90's that was glamorous! It was a different world, so much freedom, definitely a finer thing.

    I just had a birthday, I'm no longer in my late 30's or even 40. I'm IN my 40's. This whole concept of the finer things has taken on new meaning. I have a permanent sore muscle in my back that reminds me daily of the life that I have led so far and the life that is yet to come. For some reason that made me think about what the finer things in life are, obviously is it subjective to each person. Clearly there are people that need to have things, fancy cars that valet services are proud to park, large pieces of antique jewelry or a simple birthday cake baked by their children. NONE of this is wrong. Instead it is a snapshot of what makes each person special. And in my examples, each of these examples represents something that was worked for and earned. In one way or another.
 
     Anyway, getting back to my finer things; what are they? Are they tangible? Are they expensive? Can they be purchased? Lately I've realized I'm a late bloomer. I'm not really sure why, but I missed that whole "getting to know yourself" step in my 20's. Instead I've spent 40 odd years compiling experiences, and now I feel like I have finally figured me out. I am so different than the person I think my parents intended me to be. I'm just a figment of the girl who my husband married 15 years ago. A lot of days I feel like my experiences kicked the shit out of me, and other times I feel like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. On this day, I feel like the butterfly, I know I've just emerged from a long year, one that I wasn't sure my marriage would survive. Last night, over a glass of wine, my husband and I talked, didn't yell, plan or solve. We talked. We also laughed, at each other, at the kids and at life. We are on the same page, finally. And that is definitely at the top of my list of finer things. I think over time I might feel like some of the undeniably bad experiences were also part of the finer things, at least I know they will always be a contributing factor.

    On New Year's Eve we had a party. Our normal party for parents with children. However, this year was different. Our children are older now, we can let loose a little bit more. I found myself surrounded by my friends singing a Pink duet. It was awesome! There is nothing better than a bunch of moms singing and laughing while their husband's stand around a laugh. To me, that's a finer thing.

   As I move through my life, raising my children, I get to see two views, theirs and mine. I see how what appeals to them as children starts as a tangible thing while I am looking at things that are intangible, things that are the experiences that define and shape you. Those things are the outcomes of hard work and dedication. I can see now that their Ipod and their love of Minecraft is as important to them as my New Year's experience or my moment last evening with my husband. As I mentioned, I'm a late bloomer, I'm guessing my 40 something friends already got this concept probably years ago. I'm just glad I stumbled onto this now, so I have the other half of my life to enjoy it!